So you’ve bought an engagement ring, you’ve looked up the Four Cs on Wikipedia and inspected the diamonds yourself, and now you’re ready to pop the question to that special someone. But how? And how do you make it memorable, touching, and something no one has ever tried before? Here are some original proposal ideas that are guaranteed to never have been tried by anyone in the history of ever. Judge for yourself why that is.

• Duct tape the ring to a goose/pig/raccoon/animal of your choice and let it loose in the house. Cleverly make sure she’s the one who catches it. Larger animals like emus, alpacas, or quarterhorses only add to the charm.
• Over a period of a few months, steal her jewelry, a little at a time, until she has nothing left, and has filed numerous police reports. Then present her with the ring, saying, “Baby, this is the only jewelry you need.” (Then probably return her other jewelry.)
• Wear the ring yourself until she notices, then ask casually, “Oh, this? I just found it. Do you want it?” Plan the wedding without ever actually asking The Question.
• Stage a hostage rescue situation in a hostile foreign country, with you as the hostage. When she walks into the compound to negotiate your release, pop the question. Stressful situations like that bring people closer together.
• Hide the ring in a random bunch of grapes at Walmart one morning. Come back with your sweetie after work and make sure she peruses the produce section. There’s no way this one can possibly go wrong.

Okay, so maybe there is such a thing as “too” original when it comes to perfect proposal ideas. But it’s always nice to have a bottom end of the spectrum to aim away from, right?

If you have any ridiculous, impractical, or utterly implausible original proposal ideas, feel free to share them in the comments below. Research more here: www.mervisdiamond.com